[怜花公子] 【迷途红杏】２

jhsy11 该用户已被删除

1楼大中小发表于 2009-12-22 04:49 显示全部帖子

希望楼主能看到希望考虑一下
1.本文肉戏口味不宜过重
2.角度多变一些可从晨、小女儿、路人甲乙丙，以及男主角的视点看这件事比如最经典的那段小女儿撞破奸情的桥段就可用小女儿和巩以及晨的角度分别叙述。这样应该更震撼人心。

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去年金币 +3 建议很好！ 2009-12-22 09:32

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